FIRST OFF,
I'd like to show you this. This is the back of the new t-shirts and zip up hoodies here at the shop. I did a painting for the design and the printers did a smash em job with making it look proper. You WILL get 30 times the pussy you get now while wearing this shirt.
I also need to show you this. This is the front of the new t-shirts. It's an inside joke between JP and myself that has now reached the next level. Hundreds of articles of clothing with my name on it was definitely a surprise. If you are in fact able to pull some tight slizz while wearing this, please leave the shirt on so your girl can think of me the whole time she's riding that pathetic caterpillar you call a dack. (Yes... a dack)
I've got something to show you.... it's this sweet tattoo that I started on Trevor. While we were drunk at the bar he told me how much he liked my hand tattoo and how he would like to wear a tattoo of a horse. This is all we were able to get done after getting a late start. The rest of the black and the color is coming soon though, I assure you. Horse head tattoos are timeless!
You don't think kid's with long hair and camo pants like to do keg stands? Well, let me show you THIS. You were wrong, weren't you? I'm not sure why you would assume that kids with long hair and camo pants don't like to do keg stands. That's dumb.
I'd like to show you what I look like when I jam coconuts and then hold some cute little kitty cats. They were not happy to be included in this photo as you can tell by the blurred thrashing.
Oh yeah, there's one last thing I'd like to show you.
This creepy, perverted spider that insists on watching me piss everyday.
His smug smile and overall mocking expression on his face makes me a little insecure.
Really though, tell me the look on his face doesn't say "Oh wow! I'm so impressed with what you've got there!" in the most mocking, sarcastic, and jerky way.
Have a great Thursday.
I'd like to throw in a short testimonial about the 3EU shirts (not the LFS ones) because they are officially the SHIZZ. I have worn mine once and had to beat away the ladies with a stick everytime I was in public. You could LITERALLY hear panties hit the floor with a loud "Sploosh" sound everywhere I went. They're like friggin' magic, dude. They may even need to come with a warning pamphlet about the risks of wearing them outside. Tips on evading rabid cock-starved skanks and the like. I would say you should sell zippies, too, but with the design on the back, you would be under constant attack with no warning. So that may be a bad idea. My name is Jp and I approve this message.
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