Hallows eve...

3EU Writers Meeting

All-Star Stoner Meal

Ingredients:

(6) of your favorite flavor of Totino's Pizza Rolls
(1) of your favorite Hot Pockets

I'd like to show you a few things

FIRST OFF,

I'd like to show you this. This is the back of the new t-shirts and zip up hoodies here at the shop. I did a painting for the design and the printers did a smash em job with making it look proper. You WILL get 30 times the pussy you get now while wearing this shirt.

I also need to show you this. This is the front of the new t-shirts. It's an inside joke between JP and myself that has now reached the next level. Hundreds of articles of clothing with my name on it was definitely a surprise. If you are in fact able to pull some tight slizz while wearing this, please leave the shirt on so your girl can think of me the whole time she's riding that pathetic caterpillar you call a dack. (Yes... a dack)

I've got something to show you.... it's this sweet tattoo that I started on Trevor. While we were drunk at the bar he told me how much he liked my hand tattoo and how he would like to wear a tattoo of a horse. This is all we were able to get done after getting a late start. The rest of the black and the color is coming soon though, I assure you. Horse head tattoos are timeless!

You don't think kid's with long hair and camo pants like to do keg stands? Well, let me show you THIS. You were wrong, weren't you? I'm not sure why you would assume that kids with long hair and camo pants don't like to do keg stands. That's dumb.

I'd like to show you what I look like when I jam coconuts and then hold some cute little kitty cats. They were not happy to be included in this photo as you can tell by the blurred thrashing.

Oh yeah, there's one last thing I'd like to show you.

This creepy, perverted spider that insists on watching me piss everyday.

His smug smile and overall mocking expression on his face makes me a little insecure.

Really though, tell me the look on his face doesn't say "Oh wow! I'm so impressed with what you've got there!" in the most mocking, sarcastic, and jerky way.

Have a great Thursday.

Doghouse - Forgotton Files

Here are a couple files I found in a shoebox under the twin bed in the doghouse. I dusted them off; here they are:

3 eye union

Now sponsored by Tostinos as well as halloween.

Oct. 23rd material

Well I didn't get much. Some of what I got was too dark to include. One image was rejected by blogger (losers), but heres 2 poor videos I did manage to get.

Scene from the blair witch project? Nah, just the alleycat bathroom.


?????? No comment

Saturday night relived (the best I can remember)

Yeah yeah yeah,

Saturday was Drew's 21st birthday. All I got for my 21st was a drink from fucking chili's of all places. I knew we could do better for his.

Got to Trevor's new crib in Indianapolis and got shit poppin right from the get go

Drinking SoCo from the coolest alligator shot glass in history. We got a tour of the place, watched Trevor get sexually assaulted by a big dog, and then hit the town shortly after.

"Ready to have the time of your life, bro?!"

"I was born ready, brooo!!!"

Night vision goggles see Drew (now legally) laying down shots

Minutes before we had to take Coat home for getting too rowdy.

That's what happens when you have the Bouncing Souls on the jukebox, I guess

Outside the Alley Cat. The grim reaper was tapping on his shoulder at this point but I accidentally cropped him out

After ruining our bodies we get back to Trevors house where everyone immediately passed out except for Drew, some weird guy, and myself. End of the evening entertainment was this girl fighting with her boyfriend on the porch and screaming and crying loud enough to wake the dead after he left. It was cute.

Fun Facts & Trivia:

-Trevor lives in a little tiny room in the basement. Coat fell down the stairs the next morning.

-Coat tried jumping a chain link fence resulting in him falling on his head in a gravel alley

-Avoid "Irish Car Bombs"

-The Alley Cat is just as shitty as I remember it (in a good way)

-This post is a bit on the lackluster side because I couldn't get any good photos because the bars were too dark inside and I honestly just plain can't remember a good portion of the night.

-Let me also take this opportunity to send my apologies to my beautiful asian wife who was scorned and yelled at by me for being a minute late picking us up. Sorry, love.

Yeah, there you go. That's it. We got shitty and had fun. I don't know what else you want from me.

Birthday Wishes

Today is Drew's birthday.

I finished this last night

And I like it. That's it.

Finished! Presenting: Space Hallucinating

Jamming coconuts beforehand is a requirement. Jam many, and enjoy. 

If someone asked me, "Hey.....

...what has been up for the last week?"

I would present this post to that person. And since this is a longer post I will keep the captions brief and to the point.

Are you ready? Hmm, are you!? Ok... let's do the damn thing.

Gathered around some foul ass shit

Was pursued by civil war troops

Made sculptures

Found a spy

Made G-rated porn for all of our female viewers

Went to college shows

Painted something for a tattooer in Colorado

Painted this gal for no reason at all.

Does that give you a little taste, hmm? DOES IT!?

I firmly believe it was a good little taste.

I have more to show you....but I have other things to do

*gives lingling the "look"*

*gets ignored because she is eating quesadillas*

*decides to paint instead*

Thanks for reading

Bouncin' Currency

Bounce 15 quarters off a table and into a cup, without missing one. Impossible? Let's see!

Palmer Scott - Scott - Scott!!!

20 wings, bone in

Time Machine

Happy Holidays from 3EU!

Real quick, before I go to bed...

So a few nights ago, while waiting for a layer of paint to dry on my new canvas, I decided to arrogantly and conceitedly google "3eyeunion" just to see what results I would be presented with.

Would I find hilarious once forgotten photos that had been posted to the site from long ago? Could it be I would find a photo of a fan of the site from an obscure state like arkansas proudly displaying his new 3eyeunion shirt that he just got in the mail? Better yet, maybe even find a picture of a (seemingly) barely legal aged girl with "3eyeunion" proudly graffitied across her (seemingly) barely legal aged clevage? (I mean c'mon, if it works for all of these young, feminine looking guys in "bands" that just recycle the same shit over and over to sell 30 dollar tickets to a lackluster show at a venue no one has ever heard of [Uncle Bucky's Jam Barn], surely it would work for us, right? RIGHT!?)

Wrong.

This is a screen shot from a google search I did for our beloved 3eyeunion.

(and I implore the nosey computer nerds to please not study my dock at the bottom of the screen to see what applications I am currently using. "Look at that logo! How old is his Adobe Suite!!!???")

Anyway, yeah we get a gem. Drew in a fake mustache, always a crowd pleaser. We also turn up a festival of obscure and out of place photos including anime characters, nameless bands, and what appears to be a view of the deck of a boat. Hooray, looks like we're getting to "big timer" status.

But what is this!? A picture of Tony and Chaz IN the DOGHOUSE!? PERFECT!

...perfect minus the little blooper of having ADOLF FUCKING HILTER and his goon squad popping up DIRECTLY next to their photo.

Thanks for the self esteem boost, Google.

Picture story from Thursday night

This week in review; what I learned

Lingling fucked up a percent sign,

There's no Tony Sledgel,

The iPhone 4 takes crisper pictures (see 3 posts below),

I might be a reincarnated Persian emperor,

And finally, the doghouse only emptied because there was no fire escape route. Fixed. Tony's smoke magic isn't always failproof ya know.

Happy 300 to us!!!

Congrats to us, 3eyeunion.com for making 300 side-splitting and "knocked out of the park" posts.

If you've only joined our wonderful site recently then click the "older posts" links and become familiar with all of the 300 amazingly constructed and well planned posts.

If you ARE familiar with our posts from old to new.....

Then good for you. Really, pat yourself on the back.

True story.

Once upon a time I stayed at the world famous Camp Woodward so I could ride my bike and be cooler than all the other kids at home who had never been.

A few days into my stay, I jumped a resi box jump and upon landing my bike violently slid out from under me and I landed horizontally with my stomach making contact with the side of the handlebars that were pointing straight up vertically.

(Yeah I was a chubby little fucker. You truly didn't think I have ALWAYS been the amazingly handsome and suave gentleman I am today, right?)

The crash left me with two nicely sized puncture wounds and a couple of blood clots that were the size of tangerines. Chicks dig seeing rock hard blood clots protruding out of your stomach under the skin.

If my handlebars weren't capped chances are I would have ruptured organs and died from internal bleeding or blood loss from the gaping hole it would have cut through my torso.

But I didn't die so whatever.