All-Star Stoner Meal

Ingredients:

(6) of your favorite flavor of Totino's Pizza Rolls
(1) of your favorite Hot Pockets

I'd like to show you a few things

FIRST OFF,

I'd like to show you this. This is the back of the new t-shirts and zip up hoodies here at the shop. I did a painting for the design and the printers did a smash em job with making it look proper. You WILL get 30 times the pussy you get now while wearing this shirt.

I also need to show you this. This is the front of the new t-shirts. It's an inside joke between JP and myself that has now reached the next level. Hundreds of articles of clothing with my name on it was definitely a surprise. If you are in fact able to pull some tight slizz while wearing this, please leave the shirt on so your girl can think of me the whole time she's riding that pathetic caterpillar you call a dack. (Yes... a dack)

I've got something to show you.... it's this sweet tattoo that I started on Trevor. While we were drunk at the bar he told me how much he liked my hand tattoo and how he would like to wear a tattoo of a horse. This is all we were able to get done after getting a late start. The rest of the black and the color is coming soon though, I assure you. Horse head tattoos are timeless!

You don't think kid's with long hair and camo pants like to do keg stands? Well, let me show you THIS. You were wrong, weren't you? I'm not sure why you would assume that kids with long hair and camo pants don't like to do keg stands. That's dumb.

I'd like to show you what I look like when I jam coconuts and then hold some cute little kitty cats. They were not happy to be included in this photo as you can tell by the blurred thrashing.

Oh yeah, there's one last thing I'd like to show you.

This creepy, perverted spider that insists on watching me piss everyday.

His smug smile and overall mocking expression on his face makes me a little insecure.

Really though, tell me the look on his face doesn't say "Oh wow! I'm so impressed with what you've got there!" in the most mocking, sarcastic, and jerky way.

Have a great Thursday.

Doghouse - Forgotton Files

Here are a couple files I found in a shoebox under the twin bed in the doghouse. I dusted them off; here they are:

3 eye union

Now sponsored by Tostinos as well as halloween.

Oct. 23rd material

Well I didn't get much. Some of what I got was too dark to include. One image was rejected by blogger (losers), but heres 2 poor videos I did manage to get.

Scene from the blair witch project? Nah, just the alleycat bathroom.


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Saturday night relived (the best I can remember)

Yeah yeah yeah,

Saturday was Drew's 21st birthday. All I got for my 21st was a drink from fucking chili's of all places. I knew we could do better for his.

Got to Trevor's new crib in Indianapolis and got shit poppin right from the get go

Drinking SoCo from the coolest alligator shot glass in history. We got a tour of the place, watched Trevor get sexually assaulted by a big dog, and then hit the town shortly after.

"Ready to have the time of your life, bro?!"

"I was born ready, brooo!!!"

Night vision goggles see Drew (now legally) laying down shots

Minutes before we had to take Coat home for getting too rowdy.

That's what happens when you have the Bouncing Souls on the jukebox, I guess

Outside the Alley Cat. The grim reaper was tapping on his shoulder at this point but I accidentally cropped him out

After ruining our bodies we get back to Trevors house where everyone immediately passed out except for Drew, some weird guy, and myself. End of the evening entertainment was this girl fighting with her boyfriend on the porch and screaming and crying loud enough to wake the dead after he left. It was cute.

Fun Facts & Trivia:

-Trevor lives in a little tiny room in the basement. Coat fell down the stairs the next morning.

-Coat tried jumping a chain link fence resulting in him falling on his head in a gravel alley

-Avoid "Irish Car Bombs"

-The Alley Cat is just as shitty as I remember it (in a good way)

-This post is a bit on the lackluster side because I couldn't get any good photos because the bars were too dark inside and I honestly just plain can't remember a good portion of the night.

-Let me also take this opportunity to send my apologies to my beautiful asian wife who was scorned and yelled at by me for being a minute late picking us up. Sorry, love.

Yeah, there you go. That's it. We got shitty and had fun. I don't know what else you want from me.

Birthday Wishes

Today is Drew's birthday.