Happy Holidays from 3EU!

Real quick, before I go to bed...

So a few nights ago, while waiting for a layer of paint to dry on my new canvas, I decided to arrogantly and conceitedly google "3eyeunion" just to see what results I would be presented with.

Would I find hilarious once forgotten photos that had been posted to the site from long ago? Could it be I would find a photo of a fan of the site from an obscure state like arkansas proudly displaying his new 3eyeunion shirt that he just got in the mail? Better yet, maybe even find a picture of a (seemingly) barely legal aged girl with "3eyeunion" proudly graffitied across her (seemingly) barely legal aged clevage? (I mean c'mon, if it works for all of these young, feminine looking guys in "bands" that just recycle the same shit over and over to sell 30 dollar tickets to a lackluster show at a venue no one has ever heard of [Uncle Bucky's Jam Barn], surely it would work for us, right? RIGHT!?)

Wrong.

This is a screen shot from a google search I did for our beloved 3eyeunion.

(and I implore the nosey computer nerds to please not study my dock at the bottom of the screen to see what applications I am currently using. "Look at that logo! How old is his Adobe Suite!!!???")

Anyway, yeah we get a gem. Drew in a fake mustache, always a crowd pleaser. We also turn up a festival of obscure and out of place photos including anime characters, nameless bands, and what appears to be a view of the deck of a boat. Hooray, looks like we're getting to "big timer" status.

But what is this!? A picture of Tony and Chaz IN the DOGHOUSE!? PERFECT!

...perfect minus the little blooper of having ADOLF FUCKING HILTER and his goon squad popping up DIRECTLY next to their photo.

Thanks for the self esteem boost, Google.

Picture story from Thursday night

This week in review; what I learned

Lingling fucked up a percent sign,

There's no Tony Sledgel,

The iPhone 4 takes crisper pictures (see 3 posts below),

I might be a reincarnated Persian emperor,

And finally, the doghouse only emptied because there was no fire escape route. Fixed. Tony's smoke magic isn't always failproof ya know.

Happy 300 to us!!!

Congrats to us, 3eyeunion.com for making 300 side-splitting and "knocked out of the park" posts.

If you've only joined our wonderful site recently then click the "older posts" links and become familiar with all of the 300 amazingly constructed and well planned posts.

If you ARE familiar with our posts from old to new.....

Then good for you. Really, pat yourself on the back.

True story.

Once upon a time I stayed at the world famous Camp Woodward so I could ride my bike and be cooler than all the other kids at home who had never been.

A few days into my stay, I jumped a resi box jump and upon landing my bike violently slid out from under me and I landed horizontally with my stomach making contact with the side of the handlebars that were pointing straight up vertically.

(Yeah I was a chubby little fucker. You truly didn't think I have ALWAYS been the amazingly handsome and suave gentleman I am today, right?)

The crash left me with two nicely sized puncture wounds and a couple of blood clots that were the size of tangerines. Chicks dig seeing rock hard blood clots protruding out of your stomach under the skin.

If my handlebars weren't capped chances are I would have ruptured organs and died from internal bleeding or blood loss from the gaping hole it would have cut through my torso.

But I didn't die so whatever.

Pat doesn't like Killians

This weekend was fun.

I got drunk, I painted, I threw my girlfriend onto her ass in a crowded parking lot...

Stuff like that.

The weekend was kick started by a young rapper named J-uge.

He wanted to do a tattoo that involved his keyboard and microphone and I threw in the vinyl for good measure.

He likes Immortal Technique so he's definitely a cool cat in my book. Fun walk-in no doubt!

Drew was awarded the "lowest score every fucking game" title.

Drew "Gutterbawlzz" Janiszyn

Moments before Pat and I took shots of Irish whiskey at the well established and fabulously classy "Plymouth Club"

I drank a lot of beers and got to the point that I was afraid I was going to get knocked unbalanced and fall down from chucking the ball down the lane whilst drunk.

(I was embarrassed and didn't tell anyone though)

"You don't get drunk....you get...."Bowling Alley drunk"

Eat food, drink more, go home, yell about politics, eat fruit, and I don't remember anything else.

To all our devoted fans and avid readers out there:

I love you.

(tits or gtfo)