The feeling that you get when...

Your brother leaves an energy drank in the freezer.

"I'm kinda artsy"

If you've ever said that quote,

please kill yourself.

There is no place on this Earth for you.

So it turned out....

That fucking NO ONE got raptured up to heven on Saturday.

The church that was behind the whole "rapture" thing made MILLIONS of dollars in donations though.

Wow, didn't see that coming. People disgust me.

Not all was bad Saturday though! Started the day off right by doing a tattoo on Drew.

Torch or upside down fancy spaceship!?

No, no. It's just a torch.

After the tattoo we decided we get some food and get the day off to a good start.

A trip to the liquor store usually makes for a good start.

Or a night in jail.

This was a good start though.

We were hammered by 6:30 pm. No sense in wasting time!

Here are some decent moments committed to digital images.

Hennessy review by Julius:

"With the color of a white trash man's wife beater stains and the elegant aroma of premium gasoline I was sure to be impressed. On the palate it had notes of an "afterbirth" taste with a vomity finish. It pairs well with hangovers, bad decisions, and minority stereotypes.

4/5 stars"

That's right, Hennessy. I told you we were classy mother fuckers.

SWAG.

"Oh hey, thank you so much for checking out 3eyeunion.com. That's a really good thing for you to do!"

She chipped a tooth!

"Check it out, broz!"

I can't think of a better identifier of a good night. Injured livers and chipped teeth.

BINGO

Bucket of beer made a comeback! To our surprise it was even more disgusting than the first time. Dirty buckets and room temperature Milwaukees Best.

This is Trevor at the bar later at night/early in the morning.

While there he managed to:

-Spill beer

-Light a cigarette and accidentally drop it in puddle of beer. Light up a new one and accidentally drop it again. He literally went through 4 cigarettes back to back this way.

-Said weird things to a girl sitting at the bar

-Repeatedly tried to throw cigarette butts at the girl mentioned above.

(hows that for flirting?)

There's more stuff but there's other things I should be doing.

I think you get the idea.

Rapture = no go.

It's time to get serious everyone

Just in case you haven't heard,

THE RAPTURE IS GOING TO HAPPEN SATURDAY!

It's true! This upcoming Saturday will be judgment day and I'd like to

make sure that all of our followers are ready.

Major news networks have been blowing up the message started by a preacher from Colorado who says UNDOUBTEDLY that on Saturday we shall all be judged by God himself and the true believers will float off to heaven while the rest of the world stay on Earth as the end of days start to unravel.

I couldn't be more excited! I'd like to believe that all of my friends and our followers will join me in heaven so I put this helpful list together to not only help get you into Heaven, but also give you some travel tips too:

-Remember, you're going to float to heaven with no clothes on. Please be sure to be properly groomed and shaved.

-If you have any offensive tattoos, you had better get them covered up while you can!

-If you are afraid of heights, it may be a good idea to take a mild sedative to relax you during your journey.

-How long will your journey take? It's hard to say. Satan loving scientists have proven that God in fact does NOT live in the clouds. My prediction is that you'll have to actually float through space before reaching Heaven! What a view!

-The man that predicted all of this had predicted this before in 1994 and of course it didn't happen. This time it's going to happen though, he made a "mathematical error" last time, he's only human! This time he's hit the nail on the head. He even promised!

-Remember that you're going to Heaven and that Earthly money will serve no purpose. LUCKILY, the church that discovered that the rapture was going to happen is still taking donations!!! Since you won't need your money anymore you should go ahead and send it to this church. It's a kind way of saying "thanks for the heads up! SEND HIM YOUR MONEY WHILE YOU STILL CAN!"

In the event that I am not allowed to go to Heaven, someone please send me pictures from your cell phone, I'm very excited to see what everything looks like. But then again, if I'm stuck on Earth as Hell begins to take over...that probably means I'd be on the US Cellular network and wouldn't get any reception (it is Hell afterall).

I'm not sure what time this is supposed to happen but I'm tattooing Drew Saturday and I don't want anything to interrupt the tattoo!

This will be one of my final posts (they do not have 3eyeunion in Heaven)

To the readers I'd just like to say "thank you" for reading the site. Thanks for buying t-shirts, thanks for slightly appreciating the efforts we have put in to this site.

Thanks for everything. I'll see you on the other side.

Blood, heartbreak, and epiphanies

Saturday morning Marissa and myself packed up the car to make the trip to the windy city.

I had an appointment to get the second session done on my chest piece.

After a decent drive and being stuck in traffic in the city for a fucking HOUR AND A HALF I finally made it to Belmont and got shit started.

The second time around was a really good experience, I actually had the pleasure of talking to Mario about tattooing and art and had an all around good time.

Getting tattooed in that spot is brutal. There is no way around it. I'm glad we finished where we did because too much more and I'm pretty sure I would have had to tap out.

Upper center of sternum and around the nipple is nearly unbearable.

This is an original Bert Krak painting from 2002 that is hung up in the bathroom of Mario's shop. I had to be a nerd and revel in it's greatness before taking a photo as a souvenir.

After the tattoo I asked Mario about getting some good Chicago food around the area and he suggested a burger bar called "BMK" or something like that. They specialized in fancy burgers, gourmet fries, and had a great list of locally brewed beers from around the city.

I had the crispy portabella "burger" with horseradish sauce and fontina cheese. Absolutely amazing. I haven't eaten meat in 7 or 8 years and seafood used to be my drug of choice. This sandwich tasted incredibly close to a large fried shrimp sandwich which put me in hog heaven. We also had the cheddar and scallion fries which were very nice as well.

"I'll take my own picture, I don't give a hell"

After getting tattooed and having dinner we cruised around the city for the hell of it. It was good to see State Street which I haven't been on for quite sometime. I really do enjoy this city and could realistically see myself living there.

After getting lost on the way home and ending up IN FUCKING OHIO SOMEHOW, we finally made it home late at night where I was ready to get cleaned up and go to bed. I found this goopy mess under my bandage when I got home.

Got it cleaned up and it looked a little more like this.

I'm very pleased with the way it's coming along. Mario's choice of colors and how he blends them blows my mind. I have one more session to go and it will be complete. I fell into a short coma in my bed and that was a night.

The next day I woke up to get busy on a painting that I was looking forward to finishing. It was actually going to be a "thank you" gift for Mario for the tattoo work he's done on me so far. While c-purv worked on his own project, I spent a few more hours getting my painting exactly where I wanted it. About 10 o clock I finished it and C-purv and I ran across the street to get a drink to celebrate.

When I got home from across the street I found one of the cats laying across my newly finished painting. After I flung him off, I was horrified to find that he had walked through my wet paints and smeared blues and greens all over the canvas. I went on a rampage (...a little overboard actually) and ended up looking like a crazy fuck. Now I have a ruined painting, a huge swollen knuckle on my right hand, and a friend and girlfriend that probably think I was overtaken by Satan for a short stint.

I was actually going to post a picture of the ruined painting today but decided not to. I know if I were to see it again I'll dwell on it and become upset again. After the painting got ruined last night I decided I didn't want to paint again for a while and said "fuck it" to the whole thing.

This morning I thought a lot about it though and that's not the way I should react to a situation like this. I work hard to continuously progress at doing my paintings and tattoos. That's the difference between myself and some other artists. I can't get discouraged and let that affect my path. Sometimes paintings don't work out and sometimes tattoos don't turn out exactly like I had in mind. I can't get sidetracked, I need to get back in the paint horse saddle and keep it going. I decided I'm going to redo the painting (for the 3rd time) and make it better than it was to begin with. (Although, if it doesn't work out the 3rd time I'm going to jam my head in a garbage disposal)

So there's my inspirational words for today.

I will also keep the cats in "cat jail" for the rest of my life while I paint to ensure that this will never happen again. Sometimes I go on painting benders that go on for a very long time.

Feel free to mail the cats letters while they are incarcerated, I'm sure they'd love to hear from the outside world.

(Lots of words here, I'm not sure how many of our readers have the attention span to read all of this. If you have to take a break or two and continue where you left off, I understand.)

[you illiterate fucks]

3 Eye Commercial-Break

Rulez 2 Liv bye

Rule #1

Always take the free sample of wine at Olive Garden.

This white was fruity and robust with a great clean finish.

Pass up free booze? Not this cowboy.

Rule #2:

When you see a crazy man walking down the street with a gun...

RUN OUTSIDE AND FOLLOW HIM!

How close do you dare to get? We make our own fun and games here.

Rule 3:

Bend the rules.

Thats what I did and this was printed in the corner of some mail I received.

I've had groups of people upset with me before BUT A WHOLE STATE!?

Fuck ya'll Indiana! Especially you Grant County fools.

Going to leave work shortly and get my entire torso shaved.

Not only will I be ready to get tattooed, but with no body hair I could probably slip n' slide better than anyone.

SUMMER IS HERE!