The feeling that you get when...

Your brother leaves an energy drank in the freezer.

"I'm kinda artsy"

If you've ever said that quote,

please kill yourself.

There is no place on this Earth for you.

So it turned out....

That fucking NO ONE got raptured up to heven on Saturday.

The church that was behind the whole "rapture" thing made MILLIONS of dollars in donations though.

Wow, didn't see that coming. People disgust me.

Not all was bad Saturday though! Started the day off right by doing a tattoo on Drew.

Torch or upside down fancy spaceship!?

No, no. It's just a torch.

After the tattoo we decided we get some food and get the day off to a good start.

A trip to the liquor store usually makes for a good start.

Or a night in jail.

This was a good start though.

We were hammered by 6:30 pm. No sense in wasting time!

Here are some decent moments committed to digital images.

Hennessy review by Julius:

"With the color of a white trash man's wife beater stains and the elegant aroma of premium gasoline I was sure to be impressed. On the palate it had notes of an "afterbirth" taste with a vomity finish. It pairs well with hangovers, bad decisions, and minority stereotypes.

4/5 stars"

That's right, Hennessy. I told you we were classy mother fuckers.

SWAG.

"Oh hey, thank you so much for checking out 3eyeunion.com. That's a really good thing for you to do!"

She chipped a tooth!

"Check it out, broz!"

I can't think of a better identifier of a good night. Injured livers and chipped teeth.

BINGO

Bucket of beer made a comeback! To our surprise it was even more disgusting than the first time. Dirty buckets and room temperature Milwaukees Best.

This is Trevor at the bar later at night/early in the morning.

While there he managed to:

-Spill beer

-Light a cigarette and accidentally drop it in puddle of beer. Light up a new one and accidentally drop it again. He literally went through 4 cigarettes back to back this way.

-Said weird things to a girl sitting at the bar

-Repeatedly tried to throw cigarette butts at the girl mentioned above.

(hows that for flirting?)

There's more stuff but there's other things I should be doing.

I think you get the idea.

Rapture = no go.

It's time to get serious everyone

Just in case you haven't heard,

THE RAPTURE IS GOING TO HAPPEN SATURDAY!

It's true! This upcoming Saturday will be judgment day and I'd like to

make sure that all of our followers are ready.

Major news networks have been blowing up the message started by a preacher from Colorado who says UNDOUBTEDLY that on Saturday we shall all be judged by God himself and the true believers will float off to heaven while the rest of the world stay on Earth as the end of days start to unravel.

I couldn't be more excited! I'd like to believe that all of my friends and our followers will join me in heaven so I put this helpful list together to not only help get you into Heaven, but also give you some travel tips too:

-Remember, you're going to float to heaven with no clothes on. Please be sure to be properly groomed and shaved.

-If you have any offensive tattoos, you had better get them covered up while you can!

-If you are afraid of heights, it may be a good idea to take a mild sedative to relax you during your journey.

-How long will your journey take? It's hard to say. Satan loving scientists have proven that God in fact does NOT live in the clouds. My prediction is that you'll have to actually float through space before reaching Heaven! What a view!

-The man that predicted all of this had predicted this before in 1994 and of course it didn't happen. This time it's going to happen though, he made a "mathematical error" last time, he's only human! This time he's hit the nail on the head. He even promised!

-Remember that you're going to Heaven and that Earthly money will serve no purpose. LUCKILY, the church that discovered that the rapture was going to happen is still taking donations!!! Since you won't need your money anymore you should go ahead and send it to this church. It's a kind way of saying "thanks for the heads up! SEND HIM YOUR MONEY WHILE YOU STILL CAN!"

In the event that I am not allowed to go to Heaven, someone please send me pictures from your cell phone, I'm very excited to see what everything looks like. But then again, if I'm stuck on Earth as Hell begins to take over...that probably means I'd be on the US Cellular network and wouldn't get any reception (it is Hell afterall).

I'm not sure what time this is supposed to happen but I'm tattooing Drew Saturday and I don't want anything to interrupt the tattoo!

This will be one of my final posts (they do not have 3eyeunion in Heaven)

To the readers I'd just like to say "thank you" for reading the site. Thanks for buying t-shirts, thanks for slightly appreciating the efforts we have put in to this site.

Thanks for everything. I'll see you on the other side.

Blood, heartbreak, and epiphanies

Saturday morning Marissa and myself packed up the car to make the trip to the windy city.

I had an appointment to get the second session done on my chest piece.

After a decent drive and being stuck in traffic in the city for a fucking HOUR AND A HALF I finally made it to Belmont and got shit started.

The second time around was a really good experience, I actually had the pleasure of talking to Mario about tattooing and art and had an all around good time.

Getting tattooed in that spot is brutal. There is no way around it. I'm glad we finished where we did because too much more and I'm pretty sure I would have had to tap out.

Upper center of sternum and around the nipple is nearly unbearable.

This is an original Bert Krak painting from 2002 that is hung up in the bathroom of Mario's shop. I had to be a nerd and revel in it's greatness before taking a photo as a souvenir.

After the tattoo I asked Mario about getting some good Chicago food around the area and he suggested a burger bar called "BMK" or something like that. They specialized in fancy burgers, gourmet fries, and had a great list of locally brewed beers from around the city.

I had the crispy portabella "burger" with horseradish sauce and fontina cheese. Absolutely amazing. I haven't eaten meat in 7 or 8 years and seafood used to be my drug of choice. This sandwich tasted incredibly close to a large fried shrimp sandwich which put me in hog heaven. We also had the cheddar and scallion fries which were very nice as well.

"I'll take my own picture, I don't give a hell"

After getting tattooed and having dinner we cruised around the city for the hell of it. It was good to see State Street which I haven't been on for quite sometime. I really do enjoy this city and could realistically see myself living there.

After getting lost on the way home and ending up IN FUCKING OHIO SOMEHOW, we finally made it home late at night where I was ready to get cleaned up and go to bed. I found this goopy mess under my bandage when I got home.

Got it cleaned up and it looked a little more like this.

I'm very pleased with the way it's coming along. Mario's choice of colors and how he blends them blows my mind. I have one more session to go and it will be complete. I fell into a short coma in my bed and that was a night.

The next day I woke up to get busy on a painting that I was looking forward to finishing. It was actually going to be a "thank you" gift for Mario for the tattoo work he's done on me so far. While c-purv worked on his own project, I spent a few more hours getting my painting exactly where I wanted it. About 10 o clock I finished it and C-purv and I ran across the street to get a drink to celebrate.

When I got home from across the street I found one of the cats laying across my newly finished painting. After I flung him off, I was horrified to find that he had walked through my wet paints and smeared blues and greens all over the canvas. I went on a rampage (...a little overboard actually) and ended up looking like a crazy fuck. Now I have a ruined painting, a huge swollen knuckle on my right hand, and a friend and girlfriend that probably think I was overtaken by Satan for a short stint.

I was actually going to post a picture of the ruined painting today but decided not to. I know if I were to see it again I'll dwell on it and become upset again. After the painting got ruined last night I decided I didn't want to paint again for a while and said "fuck it" to the whole thing.

This morning I thought a lot about it though and that's not the way I should react to a situation like this. I work hard to continuously progress at doing my paintings and tattoos. That's the difference between myself and some other artists. I can't get discouraged and let that affect my path. Sometimes paintings don't work out and sometimes tattoos don't turn out exactly like I had in mind. I can't get sidetracked, I need to get back in the paint horse saddle and keep it going. I decided I'm going to redo the painting (for the 3rd time) and make it better than it was to begin with. (Although, if it doesn't work out the 3rd time I'm going to jam my head in a garbage disposal)

So there's my inspirational words for today.

I will also keep the cats in "cat jail" for the rest of my life while I paint to ensure that this will never happen again. Sometimes I go on painting benders that go on for a very long time.

Feel free to mail the cats letters while they are incarcerated, I'm sure they'd love to hear from the outside world.

(Lots of words here, I'm not sure how many of our readers have the attention span to read all of this. If you have to take a break or two and continue where you left off, I understand.)

[you illiterate fucks]

3 Eye Commercial-Break

Rulez 2 Liv bye

Rule #1

Always take the free sample of wine at Olive Garden.

This white was fruity and robust with a great clean finish.

Pass up free booze? Not this cowboy.

Rule #2:

When you see a crazy man walking down the street with a gun...

RUN OUTSIDE AND FOLLOW HIM!

How close do you dare to get? We make our own fun and games here.

Rule 3:

Bend the rules.

Thats what I did and this was printed in the corner of some mail I received.

I've had groups of people upset with me before BUT A WHOLE STATE!?

Fuck ya'll Indiana! Especially you Grant County fools.

Going to leave work shortly and get my entire torso shaved.

Not only will I be ready to get tattooed, but with no body hair I could probably slip n' slide better than anyone.

SUMMER IS HERE!

3EU CONTEST WINNER

This month 3 Eye Union had a Silent Contest where we would randomly select a 3EU viewer and delete them from Facebook without their knowledge. But that's not all! In order to win this contest the selected contestant must notify or "catch" the member that removed him or her. Winner and Details can be seen below:

Congratulations Austin Rowe!
2011 Silent Contest Winner
(presented by 3EU)

Will Smith Mummy Lumpkins

For the ratings

Drama:

Tornado lurking around my work, scardy cats pooped around in the hallway

Death:

Demonspawn as fast as a racing car

and a silly picture of a cat:

Cat pictures always get good ratings.

And so now you know the title of my newest book; Drama, Death, and a silly picture of a cat. 

 Many will say: "It's a work of great penmanship."

Julius_Hugepupils

The last few days are over. It's history.

Here's a history lesson as to what I did/had to go through over the last few days.

-Worked until 7:30 am on my last paint project.

-Got real drunk and felt great the next morning.

-Climbed 30 foot rockwalls while listening to Lil Wayne

-Discovered my MacBook charger no longer wants to work which forces me to spend 53 thousand dollars to get a new one

-Drank wine at Olive Garden

-Listened to way too much Dubstep (I'm addicted)

-Took my parents out to dinner (not Olive Garden) (they got the fish'n'chips)

And so on and so on.

Finally got this painting done and I am honestly very pleased with the end result.

This is the painting that I'm doing/did for the Milton Zeis book that is in the works right now.

You can only see a little bit of the painting in this photo, it's pretty much just a "sneak peak" and I'm not going to post the full sheet.

It getting shipped to Colorado on Wednesday morning.

God speed and the best of luck in your travels.

(In case you're very bored [or actually slightly interested])

11"x14" 300 lb hot press arches board

Painted with Dr. Ph. Martins Hydrus and Dr. Ph. Martins concentrated liquid watercolor

Oh yeah, of course I did some tattoos too...

Starting working on a cool kid who wants to do a full on traditional 3/4 sleeve (only black and gray). We started with this piece. I'd be pumped to do one cool clipper ship but I got to do three at the same time with a few roses thrown in there so I was a happy cramper.

Also got to jam out this foot rose. She didn't want any color but blue in the rose. Not quite my style but close enough to have fun with.

Speaking of tattoos, this weekend I travel back to Chicago to get my chest piece worked on some more.

I can feel it now.

fuck.

I'm hammered

And i turned 25 today so fuck it.

This is probably the first blatantly drunk post on here.

AT LEAST a quarter of my life is over, it's official. i've done a lot so it's all good.

Some guy bought me shots at the bar. He coughed up a lung and bought me shots of crown.

Lingling is frying me up muschrroms at 2 am.

She better do a good job.

Happy birthday 2 me, thanks for reading

YOU GOD DAMNED MOTHER FUCKERS

PS. 40 views since this afternoon? buy a fucking t-shirt already. Jesus christ.

PSS marissa said aroudn certain people she has to "walk on nutshells"

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Sometimes we make bets

And sometimes we lose bets. Hey! That reminds me of a story...

A high school kid came in this week and explained his situation.

He said that he had a bet going with his friends. The loser of the bet had to take this picture of their most disliked teacher:

And forever wear the teacher's face for the rest of his life.

(They said that they call him "Buzz Lightyear" because of his facial structure. I see it!)

This kid lost.

Let me dump this pile of goofy on your head

Wow, what a few days it has been!

Last night when I learned about the death of Ozama I shot my guns out the back door while yelling "USA! USA!" all night and got no sleep...AND my throat is hoarse. And I got a citation for disregarding the noise ordinance.

AND now the terror alert level has went up so now I'm scared to leave the house! Good thing I can post on here to kill some time until Fox News tells me everything is going to be ok again.

Know what else has bringing me down?

This mother fucker right here:

It's a game called "barbercuts" and the goal is to maneuver an electric pair of "clippers" with a microscopic blade to the string of your choice which holds a fabulous prize. Cut the string and it's yours. This game has been getting the best of some of the 3 eye union gang including myself.

This wicked and hateful game has claimed a good chunk of change from us and I request that if you ever see "barbercuts" you spit on it. Thanks in advance.

I should also mention that LingLing took me to an Asian food store.

It was like a fun nightmare. Live crabs crawling all over the place, soymilk in cans, people yelling at each other in foreign languages...

But I can say the selection was fabulous. If you ever make the venture I recommend the following:

I was in the mood for tempura rolls so I had dinner at my favorite sushi place, Volcano.

The friendly shushi lady was nice enough to include a hot towel with my beer.

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE USED FOR.

Guess what! Beau G. turned 30 of the weekend! Good god that's hard to believe. I remember that kid from art class in high school AND NOW HE'S 30.

This is what his surprise party looked like:

How did I help him celebrate for his birthday?

I got hammered. Take note of my 40 in the bottom corner of the photo that I brought with me. Just trying to keep it trashy.

(I spilled a beer and didn't tell anyone)

((hope he doesn't read this, LOL))

Creepy photo of the month winner!

This is me spying on Beau on his birthday.

Besides all that it's been a lot of tattoos and working on paintings. I also bought a pair of jeans, you should come over and check them out.

Oh yeah, I found this on my phone:

"www.3eyeunion.com is my favorite website in the entire world, but don't tell anyone!!!!!!!!"

RIP Ozama

My Facebook news feed is full of inspiring words.

While some are at church..

Met this person. ^

Base of the climb. Had a date with Master K right before the climb.

My friend Michael hanging on for his life. 

Me on the opposite pillar. Something magical about dangling 50 feet in the air with one hand on my phone taking a picture for this WEBSITE

End the night with a beer or 3. Was invited to a foursome of girls tonight. Sorry girls, I work tomorrow morning. (Who knows what creatures I would have received if I would have took them up on that)