ya blew it....capeesh

Random pics from the last few days

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I got my toe crushed by a high-heeled shoe today

Mo' money, Mo' gunz, Mo' drugz, Mo' Ho'z

In case you wanna know,

Julius is tha best, shawty.

This post brought to you by:

Your friendly neighborhood Joel P. Janiszyn

"And what's with the obsession over fries!? You call them chips, they're fries"

Well, here it is. Exactly 3 years ago, my heterosexual life partner Trevor and myself took the big trip across the ocean to sweet ol' England. There really wasn't any reason to go other than to ride bikes, get drunk, and hang out with our British friends...and that's just what we did. Here are some photos taken during this trip with some captions to let you know what is happening so you don't get confused. ....Here we fucking go:

British people LOVE tourists! Here we visited an ancient Roman bath house and received a seminar about ancient Roman weaponry and an explanation about how impossibly hard it is to swim in chain-mail. "Oh! You're from America! Put on this helmet and hold this sword and shield. Don't forget to visit the gift shop!!!"

This is our friend Clayton at the Roman ruins. Clayton holds the title as the "County long arm champion" 4 years running!

These grotesque get-away-sticks belong to our friend, "Boner" Boner rides bikes and often misses his pedals when he's shreddin' the gnar. When I told him I wanted to take a photo of his disgusting shins he was quick to laugh and yell, "Fuck! These things are nearly healed up, this aint shit!" Know what that means? These are his legs looking their best.

*feels nauseous*

Ah!!! Here we have two fine young ladies! The gal on the left is Boner's girlfriend, the one on the right is Clayton's sister Jo. True story: After a long night of drinking at the pub, Miss Jo decided to bust into the bedroom I was staying in and straight up tried to seduce me. She gave it a good effort but I still had to courteously decline. Sorry girl, but thanks for all the drinks you fed us! She's tops for sure.

Fucksake, I can't remember this guy's name for anything. He's a Turkish gent that works at the chip shop that we frequented nearly everyday. He legitimately thought since we were from the states that we were cowboys and welcomed us every day with an ear shattering "Howdy Podners!!!!!" He was also incredibly insistent that we make the drive to Liverpool to find "best pussy you ever have! Most hottest women, best pussy ever!"

Some hooligan came to this castle and straight up graffitied these tall crystal clear windows with ridiculous mythological characters! Really though, it appears Saint Gabriel is pretty insistent you read the sign to the right. Or he's just directing me to the bathroom, I'm not sure.

Glorious day! I finally get to see a 15th century well! The real kind! The kind that people fall down in and get stuck and have to have food lowered down on a rope to them. Much to my disappointment, no children or witches were stuck in the bottom. Come to think of it, there was no water, LET ALONE alligators in the moats of the castles. England is a lie!!!

This one is for the women. Plain and simple. ;)

It's normal to feel homosexual undertones while looking at this photo, just ignore it.

I've done some cool things in my life...I don't know how I'll ever top dancing like Michael Jackson on a castle bridge over a moat. Actually, I just realized I honestly don't think I'll ever be able to top that....what else is there!? Looks like my suicide note may be my next post on here.

This castle was intense. I can't remember if this is Ludlow or Stokesay and I'm just too lazy to do the research to find out right now. Cigarettes were smoked, a nesting pigeon was found and made fun of, and Trevor was sure to take a piss in one of the colossal rooms of the castle. That is what you call "being good guests"

Don't worry! I'm just having a gag! Along with "being good guests" comes "breaking as many laws as you can in a foreign country." Trevor and I decided to counterfeit some quid and then deface it in front of folk who were none the wiser. Turns out that lighting a fag with a 20 quid note is NOT the best way to make new friends at the pub. Something about a flame coming off of the Queen's prom queen tiara lighting an overpriced British cigarette makes me smile. Take that, your majesty!

Once again with the counterfeit money. Here I shred a 20 pound note early in the mornin' while sipping on a piping hot cup of PG Tips. I'm pretty sure I'm severely hung over in this photo if that justifies this at all.

Kate! That's right, I stayed at none other than KATIE FUCKING LANE'S house while in England. You don't know who that is? I didn't either until I stayed there. Kate (who is our friend Charlie's mother) used to be a big ol' rockstar back in the day. She was married to the famous Ronnie Lane. Ronnie was in the bands "the small faces" (who are said to have laid down the way for the upcoming punk scene that would take over England), the infamous Rod Stewart Band, and then went solo under his own name. Kate joined him in all of his bands as a back-up dancer, musician, and song writer. She also told me the most amazing stories of seeing the Clash play and getting kicked out of a yacht party by Elton John because she was too drunk. Kate likes her wine! Is this where I need to put a link to wikipedia so you can learn a thing or two from this post?

The look of drunken defeat. There is absolutely nothing better than stumbling home to the house you are staying at in the middle of the night in a foreign land. Being drunk and getting lost in a place where you don't even know how to dial their telephones can be a bit overwhelming. You better believe Clayton's parents just relished having two loud, drunk Americans bust into their house in the middle of the night, every night, and eat all their food and drink all their weird juices and sodas. It's alright though, we gave them a "thank you" card before we left.

So there you have it. A small glimpse into my memoirs of trips taken in the past. These photos of course only display a very small portion of the action that was had.

Well, here I am, cheerfully remembering amazing times had 3 years ago. BUT, I still need to get in the shower, mail out a car payment, and help Marissa package up an apple peeler she broke so she can send it in and redeem her warranty.

It's great to be back.

Saw this truck...the lady told me to look at the backseat, i looked in the bed of the truck where there was a chair labled "mother in-law seat"....what loving people
PIGS!!!

Lucas crook peekin in

thats just funny

craig is buggish...attracted to light

saw this on the back of a shirt...i laughed and so should you

Friday's downtime/upgrade.

Early Friday morning a band of children stricken with rickets at the Riley Hospital for Children noticed our web presence. By 11:30 they were chewing on our wires stored in our serverhouse. Needless to say the electrical shock wasn't enough to stop them, and our site went down.

Thats O.K.

I had an update ready anyways. The new landing page will allow me to count how many of you fucks come to this website.

Good-day. 

This Friday has not been a piece of shit (up to this point...)

It's friday which means I would usually leave the shop and head straight for the liquor store so I can get my weekend started the right (wrong) way. BUT, since I'm pretty much the nicest person to ever live (that's right Mother Teresa, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU) I agreed to come in tomorrow on my day off to tattoo some guy who wants to be tattooed by me but doesn't live around here. Ho-hum.

Anyway, now to transition into some good news:

(These cuppycakes are supposed to read "3eyeunion.com" but due to bumpy roads and long travel conditions, it appears the "N" cupcake did not survive)

Two days ago I was driving Marissa and myself to Indianapolis so she could attend a business meeting and we could look at a kitten (...what?). Right before I hit the interstate a car merged into my lane. Keep in mind there was a car in front of me turning, blah blah blah...anyway, I had no choice but to go rocketing off the road, go through a ditch, and ramp an embankment Evel Knievel style. Low and behold, the other driver turned out to be an acquaintance of mine by the name of Tammy. Tammy decided to apologize by way of cupcakes topped with 8 pounds of sickeningly sweet icing. Thanks for the cupcakes, Tammy (and for not killing me and my girlfriend).

Moving on...

Oh glorious day!!! THE SHIRTS HAVE ARRIVED! Throw confetti! Get champaign and pop bottles (pour it on models)[shut up bitch, swallow]! The quality of the prints and shirts are everything I was hoping for, I'm really excited about the way they turned out. "Sure the shirts look nice," you say, "but how do they look on someone?" Well, we should have our photos of our model modeling our goods up and going by the end of the weekend. I would also like to add, that while wearing our shirts you are GUARANTEED* to be better at doing the following

-Flying airplanes

-Lobster trapping

-Making love

-Yelling at uncles

-Being creepy

-Drinking heavily

-Lowering self-esteem

*guarantee not available in north america

Next on the list we have:

SOME TATTOOS

This here^ is a piece I started on Pat who is apprenticing at the shop to be a piercer man. It's a flash piece of Theodore Mindell and I've had this piece hanging on my wall for a long time because I've always liked it and hoped maybe one day someone would want to commit it to their flesh. Well, Pat stepped up to the plate and the result is above. Just outline right now, should be finished next week and I have the chilly willies just thinking about it. "Prophets, poormen, devils + ghosts" 'Nuff said.

This pirate babe belongs to our very own Cassy, CB, Burn Victim, whatever you like to call her. I really didn't want to do a full body pirate girl in the beginning but CB was VERY sure to let me know that she just haaaad to have a peg leg. I couldn't fit a peg leg in the original way I was going to draw it but you gotta give the people what they want I suppose. After I had the piece drawn up though I was excited and now I just couldn't be happier with the start of it. A bit more of a Jerry Collins style pin-up. Can't wait to finish it.

P.S. look at the rack on that wench! Not to shabby, eh?

I'm sure I'll have more to ramble on about here soon, but I'll give you a minute to let this ridiculous shit digest.

Let's all have a good weekend. GET UR DICK SUCKED.