Go ahead...

Kick my mom in the ass.

I don't give a care.

Where have I been?

Smokin with the fishes

"Thats Fuckin' mud, bro." <--- New saying I just made up.

Y'all we all been lyke busy an shit. buh uhh we doin kay.
I've personally been spending many hours working on the GOP primaries. Designing posters, videos, generally any format of piece of political propaganda I can create, I do. Heres a hit-piece I did on that fowl ass Rumley character. Notice at the end theres an ad for my posters. (y..you see that?)

Human evolution, where do you fit in?

Hi everyone.

I've been reading a book entitled "Anarchy Evolution," it's a fascinating book written by Greg Graffin and Steve Olson. The book is absolutely amazing and delves into many different areas; all centered around evolution and offers great insight into how to make sense of it and how it applies to our daily lives.

It made me start to think.

Some species die off and some prosper. Some species have shortcomings that they are never able to fully adjust to and it means their extinction in the end.

I think it is important to keep your shortcomings close and even more important to ponder how one day you will be able to overcome these parts of your personality or actions. Once these are dealt with and put behind you they can no longer hinder your quest of expanding your mind and growing (or personally evolving) into a better human being.

This is my shortcoming.

I can't get away from it. It haunts my dreams and it is ALWAYS locked away in a deep dark corner of consciousness. I mean, look at the views on this thing! Over 53 MILLION views!? I don't think i'm alone here! Although I'm pretty sure at least 200,000 of these "views" are mine but fuck it, when I find something I like I nurture it.

Is it just me? Watch it. Volume blasting to 10 or put it on mute. It doesn't matter.

If you can watch it and be done with it, you are a better man and I. Plain and simple. Watch it once and if you can live your life for 6 months without returning to watch it EVER AGAIN....I applaud you and your strength.

Actually, wait.

I take it all back. I said that all wrong. What I meant to say was:

If you can watch this once and not return to watch it in the next 6 months

you are a fucking girl. You are a nutless, insecure, panty wearing, shell of a man with a little shriveled up bump for a penis. Do the "heterosexual male homosapien" race a favor and forfeit your "man card."

Go buy a purse, drive a little red sunfire with plastic flowers hanging in the rearview mirror, get a pedicure every two weeks, and do us men a favor and don't EVER claim to be one of us.

I know you're saying "but Joel! The music is terrible! The special effects are so cheesy, it looks like something from a 1994 Nickelodeon rerun!"

YOU'RE. MISSING. THE. FUCKING. POINT.

Get off the planet, we'll be better off without you.

Are we clear?

Good.

P.S. If anyone can find an ebay auction for the girl at "1:41" selling her shoes, please let me know. I'd like to buy them, cook them down into a thick soup, and eat it while watching this video on loop for a 2 month bender. It's not THAT weird.

The big two-oh

First off, let me say;

"Congrats to us!"

Today we reach the 20,000 views mark.

Let me speak on behalf of everyone here at 3eyeunion and say

"We're glad we could mildly entertain you for the past two years or so"

I don't have a lot of funny/gross/interesting/sexy material for you viewers at home

but I can at least post a few recent tattoos I have done.

Did this one on my dad, aka "Mr. kick the door in and scream at the top of my lungs

and scare the poor 3eyeunion lads"

Not much to say about this one. Goofy sugar skull on a young hispanic man who spoke NO english. I drew a better sugar skull but he wanted it more like his goofy reference so we had to meet half way. *sigh*

No color either. *double sigh*

Now THIS I'm stoked on. A pal of Mystery Man came in and set up an appointment to get one of my paintings tattooed on him. This was the start. We'll finish the rest of the black and gray and put the color in Thursday.

I'm so excited it's safe to say that I'm "bonered"

Oh yeah, speaking of tattoos...

Here are some upcoming guest spots I'm doing:

Lucky Lady Tattoo

Richmond, KY

Sep 29 - Oct 1

New Republic Tattoo

Fort Wayne, IN

Oct 22-23

If you or anyone you know would like to be tattooed by me during these times

let me know. [joeljaniszynatgmaildotcom]

Well, that's all for now.

I'll leave you with a haiku.

Surf 3eyeunion

Confused, stare at monitor

Twenty thousand views

Gathering in Code

"Those who know don't say.

Those who say don't know."

1 + 3 = Awe$ome

I will post a photo. I will also include 3 facts about the subject in the photo.

Ya following me?.... ok.

-I drew this tonight while painting

-I jammed many coconuts prior

-I thought it was gut bustingly hilarious

Bonus!: Mr. Magic Man's new romance?

-Marissa's grandpa gave her a box of CHRISTIAN. GUM.

-I laughed at the fact that Christians are so quick to plant their "flag" on anything.

-I chewed a piece and was instantly converted. Now that I've been baptized in a sea of my own drool from chewing this delicious product, I'd like to save your soul and also recommend these products; True Messiah dish soap, Tower of Babel roofing nails, and the "I don't believe in Science board game."

-This was taken at my friend Aaron's art show "Freaks and Geeks" art show.

-I was happy to visit with Aaron and was also happy to give extended hungry stares at all the hipster babes there.

-Aaron once crashed a moped at my house many years ago.

Bonus!: Check out his work by clicking HERE

-I did this tattoo a week or so ago and I should mention it was her first!

-Took a little under two sittings to do

-Grey wash is a little dark in spots. Not the best photo, sorry.

Tony's birthday..

.. ended up on the side of his car at 75MPH.