Spring cleening

While it may be a bit on the cliche side, spring cleaning

is always a good idea.

I'll give an example of why.

While tidying up a bit I came across this.

THIS is a sheet of Chab's peeled off sunburnt skin that Drew stuck to a lego

guy holding a sword about one YEAR AGO.

AND I FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT.

Fun Fact:

I predicted that this year old sheet of gross skin would be tough and crispy (potato chip consistency.)

Much to my surprise it was still very soft and fell apart incredibly easily.

*holds back vomit*

I make my cat nervous

Let me catch my breath

FUCKSAKE, I've had a lot going on. Don't think I'm complaining though, it beats getting fat on the couch while watching Swamp People (I still can't believe that's a real show.) This cluster fuck of photos paints a decent picture of what this weekend had to offer. INCLUDING:

Going to the tattoo convention to hang out with tattooer friends, eating good food, getting drunk as fuck in downtown Indianapolis, getting speeding tickets, checking out stolen bar signs, finishing paintings, watching drunk people getting pulled out of their cars and arrested while trying to get food at 2:00am, drawing up tattoos, and smoking 3/4 of a cigarette backwards through the filter and being too drunk to notice.

Just getting started though. I leave for travel dates in about 2 weeks with the fabulous tattooer; Nate Click. In that time I still have to finish my tax stuff, get a new machine, get some things printed, figure out travel arrangements, finish paintings, and a long list of other things.

Now you may understand why we've been slacking a bit with making new posts.

(blah blah excuses)

STAY TOONED

Understatement.

Lackluster post.

Fuck it, it's something.

Back with a shabanger

I don't give a shit about green beer

Sometimes I go through the cupboards looking for something small to eat

and end up coming across things like this.

I have no idea what any of it is but some of these things are quite nice.

The rice krispie things with the sad little raisin all by it's self on top are pretty tasty.

Hands down my favorite would have to be the soy flavored pedophile crackers, though.

He isn't all that attractive to me...

What is it?

Click to view

Funny Paperz

Tattoo of the Century; Pt. 2

Here's the rough sketch

He came in and checked it today and guess what...

HE LOVED IT.

This is the paper version, stay tuned for the cleaned up version committed to flesh!

So ridiculous.

Haven't been on the computer in 4 days.

No facebook (only mobile)

No Alex Jones

No AlJazeera

No 4 eye union

Too busy unfortunately.

Tattoo of the Century; Pt. 1

Today a black guy wearing a dew rag walks into the shop

(don't give me that look, I'm trying to "paint" the setting for you...)

Anyway, he tells me that he wants to start a half-sleeve sized tattoo.

When I ask him what he wants to do, he pulls out this piece of paper and tells me how he NEEDS each of these elements incorporated into this single tattoo.

Serious.

Let me translate this list for you:

-9 tear drops

-rays of light

-the Twin Towers

-Obama

-Hurricane Katrina

-The number "13" between a set of angel wings

-Arm & Hammer baking soda logo

-An oil can

-A flaming bush

-Prison bars

-an 8-ball

P.S. - Did anyone notice the porn site URL at the bottom of the paper?

..............

....WHAT KIND OF FUCKING TATTOO COULD POSSIBLY BRING ALL OF THESE SURPRISINGLY IRRELEVANT INDIVIDUAL IDEAS TOGETHER!?

I honestly don't know. He put down a deposit and will be at the shop at the end of the week to check the drawing.

I have to put something together. Stay tuned for Pt. 2 to see what nonsense I come up with.

(And here I am getting rock hard at the idea of someone wanting to get a fucking panther head)

Secret paintings...EXPOSED!

You know what's funny?

I do A LOT of paintings.

A LOT of paintings with secret symbols and subliminal messages hidden all over the place.

...and no one has ever caught it.

How do I do it?

I use a single nostril hair split in half as my brush.

And a microscope.

Here's a new one I'm working on right now. Sorry to spoil the secret.

150x zoom.

That ain't easy.

All I know..

Is chinese food:

King Chef - (Greentown)

An earnest looking C-Purv waiting on his Pu Pu Plater.

Bamboo House - (Chesterfield)

 5 Dollar Buffet Mayne

And to wash it all down we got some Neo-Hippie Milk (NHM):